I am going to confess something....something horrible.....I literally do not like someone. Actually there are times I could hate them. They bring out the worse in me and I am spiritually ugly when dealing with them.
They always point out my shortcomings and my flaws without even looking at their own. They can be a master at manipulating and pushing.
When I talk to them (I have to at times), I can stay calm for about 10 minutes then....I lose it. I am not proud of it and it is something I grieve the Holy Spirit over.
I pray constantly for help in this area. Paul had a thorn. I guarantee you, THIS IS MY THORN. I have begged God to release me on this issue on a constant basis and it is still here. UGH!
My mood can change from happy to mad in a split second. I can feel great about my walk and in one conversation with this person and I feel like the worse Christian on the planet. They like to use my walk to manipulate me. Make me feel horrible and guilty so they can get their way or feel better about themselves. At least that is my perception.
This will be an ongoing battle with me and I am sure I will fail many more times. The only way I can get through this is to cut myself off completely. It is tearing my walk to shreds. I refuse to let anyone take that from me again.
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