Missionary to....corporate.

When I was a little girl I use to want to be a missionary.  I wanted to travel, see the world and make a difference.  Instead, I am a manager at a corporation overseeing 20 middle aged women.  God has a sense of humor.

I shake my head in amazement at what comes through my office door.  I have women who should know better, who, as far as the majority of the world, are rich, who have had and raised babies to behave properly, who for some reason cannot get along.

Individually each woman is great. I love them all but collectively they are worse then elementary ages children bullying each other on the playground.

One is mad at the other for not saying, "Good Morning" to her.  One is mad at another for yelling at her about the shredder machine.  One is mad at the other because they think they know it all.  One is mad at the other because they have kept a tally of how often the other employee leaves 5 minutes early.  One is mad at the other because she always comes in late.  On and on and on.  Daily.  No reprieve.  We have a park with a lake next to the office and on really bad days when people are mad, cussing and dropping the "F" bomb (Yes I am not kidding), I run to the park, get in a boat and sit in the middle of the lake.  I cry out to God asking, "Really Lord? Why?"  I am drained just writing about it.  Then I remember the blessing of a job and how I should be thankful.  I am trying to be.  I tell the Lord "Thank You" but on really bad days, I am not thankful.

I hate bullying of any kind and to see grown women (and a few men) bully each other is appalling to me.  We have yelling matches, cussing matches, loud eruptions of anger.  We have an owner who pits one employee against another.  Who does not keep the arguments with upper management within the private confines of the board room.  He likes to tell all the employees about the fights and arguments.  We have employees who get preferential treatment and others who are ignored, just because.  We have jealously running a muck and needless to say, God is no where to be found in this office.  At least that is how I feel.  I tried to do a bible study and I had several women who were interested.  No one did the course study, nothing was completed and it was not a priority.  So, they started quitting.  That was the only God in the office. 

How do you teach grown ups to respect each person?  How do you teach grown ups to learn to work together?  How do you teach grown ups to love as God has loved.

I feel like I take two steps forward and three steps back. 

When I look up at heaven and cry out to God all I hear in return is, "welcome to the mission field."