I am going to be blogging about praying for your husbands. Let me explain. I am have been separated from my husband for 2 years. We have the MOST toxic relationship and we can only communicate through email to keep us both calm.
Anger has prevailed in our relationship.
We are both Christians. He is called to be a Pastor. He also has a huge past of drugs and gang banging before Christ.
When life gets bad....and it did...he went back and reopened the door. I, on the other hand, was too angry to care about his needs and what Christ wants me to do.
The last two years are marked with being out of God's will, anger is always there, cancer, death, drugs and infidelity.
We have both tried to move on. Divorce papers were drawn up but for some reason, it never was able to be granted or go through. God stopped it.
Now we are to the point that we think being divorced is what God wants. That is what we tell ourselves but we both know the Lord enough to know, that goes against HIS will. But you get so angry that you don't care. You would rather deal with God's wrath than the wrath of your spouse. BUT....for some reason.....we cannot let go. We are both accountable for our marriage. We are both broken.
A movie came out call War Room and it goes with what God has been trying to tell me. PRAY for your husband. I would do it once or twice....then stop because he made me mad and he has free will so it seemed hopeless. AND I didn't want to set myself up for more hurt and dashed hopes.
So after I saw the movie and was suckered punched by the Holy Spirit, I started a 31 day of prayer for my husband. I also included me and my children.
Day 1 was praying for him and scripture to follow. Mark 12:30 "and you shall love the Lord our God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind and with all your strength."
After praying in my special spot I felt....good. At peace. More peace than ever before. My marriage seems totally hopeless. But we are at the point there ONLY ONE can fix. So...I'm trying it.
We have been emailing and no arguments. If we do, I will tell you. Last night we met for the first time in awhile and just went on top of a mountain at 10 PM and gazed at the moon. We have to be careful because our conversations can revert to the past and the pain quickly. It was nice. I had a nice time. Then he went his way and I went mine.
